Archive for June 2009

Holy Sh!t, The Sun Was Out All Weekend

June 29, 2009

We took Dylan back to Sesame Place this weekend. We had originally planned for a weekend at SP earlier in the summer but after spending a day there and seeing how sick Terri was (this trip was after we found out the baby’s heart stopped but before any procedure) we decided to wait on Day 2 and do it later when Terri was feeling better and could enjoy it more. I think she did. She got to go on rides and did more than just go from bench to bench and sit. Of course Dylan loved it!! I got to use my new Flip and got some video of Dylan in SP. Next weekend is the beach which should be a whole lot of fun.

Sunday was buy a new fridge day (which was a chore and a half) and get some work done around the house. A weird thing did happen. Last weekend (on Father’s day) my neighbor that I had issues with in the past wished me a happy Father’s and asked if we could talk sometime. I hadn’t seen him again until yesterday and he basically apologized for the incidents that we had. It was kind of strange but at the same time I’d rather live peacefully among my neighbors. I know he recently saw me talking to a cop friend so I don’t know if that’s what sparked this apology 6 months after the incident or what but as long as we don’t live like the Hatfield and the McCoy’s, all is well.

At least it was a nice sunny weekend!!!

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King of Pop

June 26, 2009

I wasn’t going to write about this because I really wasn’t a fan but the more I thought about it, the more I felt like writing about it. In the last 20+ hours I’ve heard a lot of comparisons of Michael Jackson’s death to that of Elvis Presley and John Lennon. I find the comparison to Elvis more spot on than that of Lennon.

I was 2 when Elvis died so I don’t remember anything about it. Growing up, I learned about the Elvis of the late 50’s and early 60’s. The good looking guy that changed everything by swinging his hips and making girls go crazy for him. The one thing I understood about Elvis was that he was VERY famous, the type of famous that only a handful of people ever become. I mean he was the King of Rock and Roll. But as I got older, I learned about Fat Elvis, who was a far cry from the Elvis I just described. He sort of became this drugged out fat slob that ate too many pb and banana sandwiches and wore stupid outfits. Like I said, the comparisons between MJ and Elvis are so spot on because didn’t MJ dramatically change before our eyes?

I grew up in the 80’s and to me the 80’s were MJ, Madonna and MTV. There was no one bigger than Michael Jackson. It seemed like everyone wanted to dance like him, sing his songs, wear his clothes, etc. He was the King of Pop. Thriller is still the best music video ever made and because of MJ, a different video was made that has my all-time favorite spoken line…(Yo!! Ding Dong man, Ding Dong, Ding Dong Yo!!). But like Elvis, MJ also morphed into this strange person as time went on, some kind of creepy, freak of nature who was accused of some pretty sick and twisted things. I would imagine people much younger than me look at MJ the same way I looked at Elvis.

I guess when you look at the comparisons, you could even say John Lennon did the same, from Beetle to the hippy we knew in the late 70’s, so I guess people are right comparing Michael Jacksons death to Elvis AND John Lennon. Like the two before him, his death is extremely shocking and very sad for the entertainment world. I still don’t understand the hordes of people outside crying like he was their best friend but it is a sad day for the entertainment world.

Maybe it makes a little more sense why Lisa Marie married Michael Jackson at one point in time…

Random Weekend Stuff

June 22, 2009

I’m so tired of rain, it seems like that’s all it does now. I will say that it actually didn’t rain on Friday, which was good because my company had their annual golf outing after work. While it didn’t rain, the sun wasn’t out either so playing on the course after 3 straight days of heavy rains wasn’t much fun. Golf is a tough game to play with people who have never really played in their life. over 3 hours to complete 9 holes is kind of painful.

Dylan had a play date on Saturday, his first play date. Terri took him and it seemed to go really well. The funny thing is that if he and this other kid weren’t friends prior to Saturday, they are very good friends now. We’ll be doing another real soon!! I’d say close to a year ago, we brought Dylan to Build-A-Bear where he made a black dog. If you’ve ever been to Build-A-Bear you know that if you make a dog, they send it home in this box that looks like a house. Well, we had that box for a while before it didn’t resemble much of a box anymore and threw it out. I’d say that was, at the very least, 6 months ago (I thinking more than that though). Saturday morning, Dylan woke up looking for the box and wanting the box. It’s very strange the things they will remember. So, after his play date, we went to Build-A-Bear, with the intentions of building something new but he didn’t want that, just the box. Thankfully they gave us another box.

Saturday night we went out to dinner and Dylan was BOUNCING off the walls from being inside so much the last few weeks so we decided that Sunday we’d get out and do something. Since the forecast said rain, we made it to the Staten Island Children’s Museum. It was ok and I think Dylan had fun. You see, 2 summers ago we went to the Children’s Museum in Boston and have been looking for something like it since…it doesn’t exist. So if you live is Boston you’re very lucky! When we got home, it wasn’t raining so we decided to do some yard work that needed to be done. Dylan was just happy to be outside with a squirt bottle he got at the museum, squirting everything, including me, in a spot that made me look like I had bladder control issues.

For Daddy’s day I got a Flip video camera. The thing is great. It takes great HD quality video and comes in a small package that allows it to go places you wouldn’t consider bringing the big camera. If you have kids, have a normal video camera that you never use and curse yourself all the time about it, I suggest getting one. They are relatively inexpensive. I’ll post some videos I too soon!!

Rock Out With Your….

June 17, 2009

I was a 90’s music junkie. If you could jump in a time machine and head back to the early 90’s and open my closet, you’d probably see nothing but flannels, doc martins and concert tees. I went to all the big shows, the Lollapalooza’s, the Horde Festivals and spent countless hours watching 120 Minutes every Sunday night on MTV, looking for that next great band and song. I figured I would post some of my favorite videos every Wednesday.

Jars of Clay – Flood – I certainly didn’t know that this was a christian rock band at the time. Now, listening to the song its amazing I never realized it.

Neds Atomic Dustbin – Kill Your Television – I loved this band with a passion but I never got to see them live even though I had a few chances.

Nine Inch Nails – Wish – Always thought this video was the best clip at what NIN looks like live.

Big Audio Dynamite II – Rush – Find me one person who doesn’t like this song

L7 – Pretend We’re Dead – I think this is a band i saw live once and the lead singer was freaking us out by her antics on stage, looking for something in the crowd.

Butthole Surfers – Who Was In My Room Last Night – This was a band, who I saw live once, bought a shirt which became a constant argument with my mother.

Primus – Tommy The Cat – Primus Sucks…plain and simple

Liz Phair – Never Said – My wife knows I’d leave her for Liz Phair but I know my wife would leave me for Liz Phair.

Blind Melon – Dear ‘Ol Dad – First song I ever heard from this band and I was hooked. They were my favorite band of the 90’s, probably saw them a good 12 or 13 times. Every time they played within a radius of a 2 hour drive I went.

Sponge – Plowed – I had a band once, we entered a contest to be this band’s opening act for a show…we lost!!

Surreal Feelings

June 15, 2009

Thought I’d make a little entry about today. See, today was the day that Terri and I buried our son, Evan James, who never got a chance in this world. It’s a surreal feeling because there are really no words to describe the feeling. I mean from my point of view, laying over a grave was a tiny little box with the body of a baby boy that I had never met, never seen, never felt or never held yet I was overcome with complete sadness because all I could think about was what could have been. What would his personality have been, what would he have looked like and what would his relationship with Dylan have been? Dylan will never get to know this brother because someone, somewhere decided it wasn’t his time to come into this world and that really just sucks.

You read so many things on how to cope with something like this but the problem is that everything you read only gives you advice on how to cope with something LIKE this, not how to cope WITH THIS. Because nothing fits this situation, you stand there, on top of a hill looking at a small box wondering how you got to this moment, that it wasn’t supposed to be like this at all.

There isn’t much more I can say because like I said, the feelings about this whole thing are just surreal. The healing time has come even though I am sure that’s a long and bumpy road at times. I know happier days are ahead but unfortunately this day is not one of those days.

An Update

June 9, 2009

I was chatting with someone on IM this morning and they had mentioned I had been a little quiet and asked how things were going so I figured I’d do an update here in case I haven’t talked to someone who has been following everything that has been going on.

Terri had her procedures last week and is doing well. We met with the Doctor on Wednesday who started the D part of the procedure, saw her on Thursday for round 2 and then back on Friday for the rest of it. Terri did extremely well through the whole thing. In fact, she was up and around on the weekend, outside weeding the side garden and making it to the annual street fair in town. Physically she was way ahead of where I thought she’d be.

We’ve decided the right thing to do with the baby is to have a proper burial. We were basically given two options on what to do. He could have been considered a “surgical specimen” (which to me is a nice way of saying “medical waste”) or we could contact a funeral home and have them proceed with a burial. Just because he hadn’t been born yet doesn’t mean he should just get thrown away, he deserves a proper burial. My Mother-in-law has an extra spot in her plots so he will be buried there with his great-grandparents and his grandfather. It’s just the right thing to do.

We were talking about the whole thing the other night and something she said made me think. I know Terri feels a little alone in her grief because she’s the only one who really knew him. There were a few times where he was kicking and I would try to feel his kicks but as soon as I put my hand on her belly, he’d stop kicking so unfortunately I never got to feel him kick. One time I did feel a hard spot in her belly so maybe that was his head or foot or something but I didn’t have a relationship with the baby like Terri did. It is a sad thing but I think that’s the way of every expecting father. Our bond doesn’t really exist until he/she leaves the womb. I am very sad that I won’t ever get to know him and I am sure he’ll be someone I’ll always wonder about for the rest of my life. But the bottom line is I truly believe that Terri and I are on the path to healing. I’m sure at times it will be a bumpy road and it’s important to never forget what could have been, even if someday we are blessed with another child.

Again, thanks to everyone for their prayers and their kind words during this very rough time.